Joyous Moments of Cosmic Recognition

I can almost hear the question being asked.  What are joyous moments of cosmic recognition?  It is that amazing day or time where everything goes your way.  It can also be an experience that even when things are not quite going your way, everything works out and often leaves you in a better place than where you were before.

In the sixth book of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, there is a potion called “Felix Felicis” or  “Liquid Luck.”  Harry has been given a task by Dumbledore, to get a memory from Professor Horace Slughorn.  Harry had been trying for weeks to get alone with Professor Slughorn to ask him for this memory to no avail.  He had won a vial of the potion “Felix Felicis” in a competition during potions class.  One day in desperation, Harry drinks the potion.  Ron and Hermione urge Harry to go see Professor Slughorn.  Harry, under the influence of the potion, decides that he needs to go see Hagrid.  It is through his visit to Hagrid that he is able to talk to Professor Slughorn and convince him that this particular memory is necessary in the fight against Lord Voldemort.  Professor Slughorn gives this memory to Harry and in turn, Harry gives it to Dumbledore completing his task.

In my creativity classes we call this synchronicity.  The definition of synchronicity is the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.  When connecting with your creativity, you may notice that there are things that you need to continue your creative work.  You may need a teacher or individuals to collaborate with.  You may need a new job or a space for a studio.  Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.

One of my first experiences with synchronicity had to do with a search for a very specific type of paper for a series of collage pieces I was trying to complete.  I needed a very specific red hue of paper that had poppies on it.  I have a lot of paper in my studio and I went through every single piece looking for the right poppy paper.  But I didn’t find anything even remotely close.  This was at a time in my life when I didn’t have a lot of extra money.  And as you may know, art supplies are not cheap.  I went through and collected the change at the bottom of my purse and found a forgotten five dollar bill.  With luck may be I would find a sheet or two of poppy paper.  I left my studio and went to Michaels.  I thought to myself, “why not check out the clearance section?”  In the clearance section was 2 pads of poppy paper that was the exact colour I needed.  And I had enough money to purchase them both.  Which I did and I finished the series of collages.  Synchronicity!

Art series featuring the poppy paper

These moments can also manifest themselves in what I would consider to be a perfect day.  The featured image for this blog post is a leaf on the window of my car.  I captured this photo on what I would call a day as close to perfection as possible.  It was in October 2022.  I had contacted my friend, Faith and we were meeting at a spot along the Flathead river to do a bit of plein air painting.  We had mango smoothies from City Brew.  (Mango smoothies are like drinking liquid sunshine, in my humble opinion.)  The colours were changing and the river bank was a riot of every fall hue.  It was warm but not hot.  I finished one canvas and got a good start on a second one.  I enjoyed the time spent with my friend, sunlight on my face, time doing something I love and being out in nature.  It was the perfect day.

When you trust the creative process and are open to positive possibilities, no matter where they take you, anything can happen.  You may be surprised at all of the amazing opportunities that open up before you.

Poem – unrequited

Sometimes

I think that I could

Fall in love with You

Again

Then I remember

That You never loved me

little

“The little things?  The little moments?  They aren’t little.”                            -Jon Kabat-Zinn

It is amazing how something small and simple as a smile has the power to change and make your day better.  That smile with some kind spoken words is even more powerful.

While attending college my sophomore year in Billings, MT, I had been having a really bad day.  My alarm didn’t go off and I woke up late.  I didn’t do as well as I thought on test that I studied really hard for.  It just seemed like everything I did wasn’t working.  While walking to work at McIntosh Art Company when it was on Grand Avenue, I passed two little girls playing.  One of the little girls came running up next to me on the sidewalk and said, “You are really pretty.  I love your red hair.” And she gave me the biggest beautiful smile.  She made my day.  I smiled back and thanked her.  From that moment on, my day went so much better.

You have probably heard the saying “It’s the little things.”  Just like pennies in a bank account, the little things add up.

I am working on an Artist’s Journal project.  One of the things that I am working on is observing little moments of beauty and document them in my journal.  The bright red of blooming poppy.  A spider web caught in dew and early morning sunlight.  Hints of changing colours creeping into the autumn landscape.  Little things.  Small things.  Things that would easily be missed.

I recently watched again the movie “The Crow.”  There is a scene where Eric Draven’s spirit is talking to the police officer about his dead fiancé and how the little things always mattered to her.  He continues saying that he sometimes thought they were trivial.  Nothing is trivial, he goes on to say.

Here is what I want to leave you with.  Little things are important.  Especially when it comes to how we treat one another.  Notice things.  Notice the little things.  Take time to experience and appreciate them.  The little things… they aren’t little.

Mixing Messages

Have you ever been told something that means one thing?  “I want you in my life.”  And in the very next sentence you are told something that completely cancels it out?  “I can’t be around you.”  The result is…… confusing.  What does this person want? Do they realize they are sending mixed messages?

One unintended consequence of giving someone mixed signals is that the person receiving the signals has to choose what they think you are actually trying to say.  A lot of misinterpretation can happen.  Wouldn’t it be easier to say what you mean?

I have a theory about people who send mixed messages.  I think that they don’t know what they want or what they are feeling.  A person cannot express something simply when they themselves do not know how they feel.

I can understand how mixed messages happen.  Most of us are a mixing bowl of emotions.  Imagine cookie dough before you blend it together.  Every ingredient separate but in the same bowl.  That’s like our feelings and emotions.  We are the bowl and our feelings and emotions are the ingredients.  They are all there together inside our heads.  The emotional mix we get is unique to each of us.

And like making cookies if you take the time to stir everything together, it will become dough.  When you take that dough and make it into little round balls and cook it, you get a cookie.  Or in this case a fully formed thought.

I like it when someone is honest with me and tells me what they mean.  I think that most people would prefer to be treated with honesty and respect.  I also think that most people are like me and would prefer to be given a straight forward answer.

I am not talking about saying cruel or hurtful things.  Mixing signals doesn’t spare anyone’s feelings.  Both of those behaviors cause hurt, confusion and mistrust.

When you give someone the benefit of the doubt and do not try to second guess their feelings by giving them mixed messages, you treat them with respect and provide an opportunity for them to deal with their own feelings.  It is a positive and healthy experience for both parties.

Enough about mixed messages.  I really do like cookies.  And all of this talk using the cookie dough metaphor has made me hungry.  I’m going to mix together a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and bake some cookies!

Endings and Beginnings

A friend of mine was recently laid off from the company she had been working for the past couple years. She told me that it isn’t personal. Her company is down-sizing because of inflation and the shift in the economy. That doesn’t mean that this experience wasn’t painful. It is an ending.

Three weeks ago, I started a new job. I am very hopeful that it is the right position and environment for me. It is a beginning.

Things end. Sometimes these endings are choices we have made. Sometimes an ending is something that happens to us. Completely out of our control. Endings can bring out a variety of emotions: pain, joy, anxiety, ease, hope, fear, etc.

Beginnings happen all the time. Much like endings they can come from our own choices or from something that happens to us. The feelings beginnings bring out can be exactly the same emotions that endings evoke.

Endings can be scary. So can beginnings. It all depends on how we choose to experience them.

My challenge to you dear reader is recognize the next time that you are in the process of ending or beginning something. Ground yourself fully in the moment. What emotions do you feel? How are you choosing to experience this moment? What are you learning about yourself in this experience? Please share your thoughts on endings and beginnings by posting a comment.

Thoughts on Thanksgiving

A couple days before the Thanksgiving holiday, I was working on writing a haiku poem.  Maybe it is the time of year, but I kept coming back to words like Thankful and Grateful.  

I feel thankful to have had a better year.  I am thankful that I am able to go outside and see friends.  I am grateful that my friends and family are all doing well.

I realized that I am hopeful… for many things… but mostly for possibilities that each new day brings.  I am so blessed to have my four-year old niece in my life on a daily basis.  She teaches me to be patient,  kind and live in the moment.  I am hopeful for her future.

I will try to remember to be kind to all those I meet.  A simple act of kindness may change someone’s day in a positive way.  

One must not forget the importance of love and remember to be open to the possibilities and blessings that love brings.

I had many ideas of how words work together to invoke the feelings of Thanksgiving.  Below is the haiku poem inspired by my thoughts.

Words of Thanksgiving

Hopeful, Blessed, Loving and Kind,

Thankful and Gratitude.

a – ha

Two years ago, this month, I flew to Belfast, Northern Ireland to see the band a-ha play in concert.  It often amazes me when and where the universe chooses to teach me life lessons.

You see, I have been a fan of a-ha since I was eleven years old.  To see a-ha live, had been a dream of mine my entire life.  Living in a rural community of North Central Montana, there were not a lot of people who were into the books, movies or music that I was into.  I often felt very different and excluded by my peers, because I did not have the same world view that they did.

In fact, had I quite telling people that a-ha was my favorite band because I was tired of being teased about it.  I just quietly kept listening and loving their music.  And finally after all of these years, I got to see them in concert.  And it was amazing!!!!

Here comes the life lesson.  Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed about the things that you love.

The stadium was almost completely full and everyone there was singing and enjoying the music as much as I did.  I even met an amazing woman from Brazil who had seen a-ha in concert dozens of times and met Morton Harket.

My “a-ha moment” was that I had allowed people to make me feel ashamed of my love of this band and their amazing music.  I had allowed it.  It was my choice.  But no more!  And I let those feelings go.

Now I eagerly tell anyone who asks about my favorite band a-ha, as I proudly wear my concert t-shirt!

Devolution by Max Brooks

 

“As the ash and Chaos from Mount Rainer’s eruption swirled and finally settled, the story of the Greenloop massacre has passed unnoticed, unexamined…. until now.  The journals of resident Kate Holland, recovered from the towns bloody wreckage, capture a tale too harrowing – and too earth-shattering in its implications – to be forgotten.  In these pages, Max Brooks brings Kate’s extraordinary account to light for the first time, faithfully reproducing her words alongside his own extensive investigations into the massacre and the legendary beasts behind it.  Kate’s is a tale of unexpected strength and resilience, of humanity’s defiance in the face of a terrible predator’s gaze, and inevitably, of savagery and death.

Yet it is also far more than that.

Because if what Kate Holland saw in those days is real, then we must accept the impossible.  We must accept that the creature known as Bigfoot walks among us – and that it is a beast of terrible strength and ferocity.

Part survival narrative, part bloody horror tale, part scientific journey into the boundaries between truth and fiction, this is a Bigfoot story as only Max Brooks could chronicle it – and like none you’ve ever read before.”

-Book Cover “Devolution” by Max Brooks   

 

 

Some stories really get under my skin. I think about them long after I have finished reading them. Devolution by Max Brooks is one of those stories. I was very excited to receive my copy of the book last August and finished reading shortly after I received it. I have wanted to write a review of the book; but, needed time to process the story.

I want to put in a reminder that this is a book of fiction. So much of this book is written as if it just happened. Much like Max Brooks other novel World War Z.

Devolution starts with an introduction by the author explaining how he came to write the story of the firsthand account of the Rainier Sasquatch Massacre. Written primary through the journal of Kate Holland found at what was left of the eco-community, Greenloop when rescuers finally were able to reach it. Also included are interviews of the community founder, Tony Durant taken from NPR. Interviews from Frank McCray, the journal writer’s brother, and Senior Ranger Josephine Schell, who was first on the scene. These interviews add a sense of urgency to the story and validate the experiences Kate writes about in her journal. Quotes from scientific journals, myths, zoological texts and other sources lend credibility and interest to the story. Everything meshes together to tell the story and leave the reader to ponder the ultimate outcome. Like any good disaster story, I was left wondering if things had been handled differently, would the ending have changed?

What I enjoyed the most about this novel was the character development of Kate Holland. How the reader gets to know her through her own words. When she arrives, Kate goes on a walk and writes in journal the wonder she experiences of the natural world. Through her own words I saw her as a very timid. By the end of the novel, Kate has strength, courage and a will to survive that transcends through the horror.

The interactions of Kate with the other citizens of the small community and the development of those relationships is all documented in her journal. Mostar was another favorite character. Maybe because she was an artist, but more likely it was her no bull-shit attitude. Everyone in that community tip toed around the very serious situation that was starring them in the face. Only Mostar had the nerve to call it out.

There are some truly terrifying parts to this novel. The following happened fairly early in the book. Kate felt the urge to go for a walk down the road that had been washed out. At one point she thought she saw a boulder on the road. But then it moved, stood up and walked into the woods. The following exert is what happened next.

“When I looked again, the road was clear. The boulder was definitely gone. Then, as the wind shifted in my direction, I smelled it. Eggs and garbage.

I didn’t consciously consider what to do next. No internal debate. this was reflex. I turned and started walking back. My eyes kept scanning back and forth in a shallow arc, like they teach you on the first day of driver’s school. I tried to keep my pace steady, my breathing constant. I tried not to dwell on what I’d seen. An animal, a deer. Maybe that ‘boulder’ was just a speck in my eye.

But the smell was getting stronger, and I couldn’t keep from speeding up. I thought I saw something move off to my right, a sudden space opening between two trees.

I quickened again.

Silly. Irrational. Tired. Information overload from the news mixed with memory flashes of the bloody, butchered rabbit.

A light trot, at first, long controlled breaths. That feeling. The back of my neck. Being watched. My trot became a jog, my breath thundering in my ears.

I could not have imagined the howl. I definitely heard it, just like the other day. Deep, rising pitch, echoing off the trees. Lightening kicked up my stomach.

I ran.

Sprinting, gasping, the world shaking in front of me.

And fell. Just like in one of those stupid, cheesy horror flicks when the dumb blond eats it just before the knife-wielding psycho gets her. At least I had the presence of mind to close my eyes, hold my breath, but after face-planting in the ash, I couldn’t help but inhale.

Coughing, chocking, eyes blurry and stinging, I tore forward.

Don’t turn! I remember that clearly. Shouting in my brain. Don’t turn! Don’t think! GOGOGO!

Thighs burning, lungs.

I ran until I saw the roofs poking just above the driveway rise. The endorphins hit. Made it. Home. Safe!

Dan!

He was coming toward me, Mostar behind him.

Pages 88-89 Devolution by Max Brooks

This book is a cautionary tale about forgetting that nature can and is dangerous. Just recently there was an accident locally where some downhill skiers went out of bounds. One of them skied into a tree well and died. We hear all the time that visitors to Yellowstone and other national parks are injured because they tried to pet a bison or feed a grizzly bear. I blame Disney for this with the way it anthropomorphizes inanimate objects and wild animals. Wild animals are wild. Even the cute ones.

And just because you can make a call on your satellite phone doesn’t mean that bad things won’t or can’t happen to you when you are in the wilderness. The characters in this book thought technology would save them. They didn’t consider the idea that they wouldn’t be able to depend on it. None of them, with the exception of Mostar, had any idea of what it might take to survive the situation they were in.

I did not feel like this was a horror story. There were horrific events. To me, Devolution, felt like a survival story. Catastrophic natural event caused a series of things to happen. I enjoy a good survival story and this was no exception. Not a book for everyone. But if you like disaster stories or survival stories, this book has all of those components and a mysterious ending.

Enjoying the Possibilities

There is a lot of hype around New Years Eve and the ushering in of a new year.  (Even more so this year.)  I get that for some it is a time to party.  Others see it as a time for reflection and sending well wishes to friends and family.  Many people make new year resolutions.

The word resolution means a firm decision to do or not to do something, or the quality of determination or resolve.  But this is not a post about resolutions.  It is a post about possibilities.  A possibility is a thing that may happen, a state of being likely and/or a thing that may be done out of several possible alternatives.

Where resolutions are determined, a possibility is a maybe.  Resolutions are guidelines to getting things done; possibilities are open ended options.  Resolution is an exclamation point.  Possibilities are question marks.

There is nothing wrong with resolutions.  And to those who accomplish or keep them, I say, “Way to go!”  Making and keeping goals is part of the creative process.

But sometimes one doesn’t need resolution.  Nothing so firm.  A possibility, however, is just right.  Options.  Ideas.  Could be and may be.  Optimistic hoping and wishing.

The idea for this post came about from a conversation with a friend about receiving new art supplies for Christmas.  We are both in the process of organizing the spaces in which we create art and our supplies.  While I was going through a box, I found some paper that I hadn’t looked at in ages.  I went through the box touching each sheet of paper, enjoying the possibilities.

When I purchase paper I don’t always use it right away.  But I don’t want to miss the opportunity to purchase this sheet of paper.  I may not know right now what I am going to use it for, but I will use at some point in my artwork.  I am very aware of the possibility each sheet of paper holds.  A new tube of paint.  The purchase of a printing press.  The blank page or the blank canvas.  A yard of fabric or a skein of yarn.  A new herb or spice.  These all have possibilities!

Good and or bad outcomes may happen.  The paint may become part of a stunning landscape.  The story written on that blank page may fizzle out.  The printing press produces many beautiful prints and some major flops.  The dish made with the new spice is not to your tasting.  The socks you knit from the skein of yarn fit perfectly.  Yes any and all of this could happen.  But right now, in this moment, there is nothing but possibility.

And this brings me back to the beginning and perception of the new year.  One could think of this as a very negative time or could look at it as a opportunity for possibilities.  It would be very easy to get caught up in the negativity of the current state of our world: isolation and masks; lockdowns and travel restrictions; censorship and unrest and much more.  This is enough to cause depression in the most positive people.  If we allow it, these critical and negative thoughts will take control.  That is why enjoying the possibilities is so important.   Yes, the possibilities or outcomes could be a disaster, but they have just as much chance as being something wonderful or amazing.

I would like to leave you with this quote which has been accredited to Eleanor Roosevelt.   “Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That’s why we call it the present.”

Take the gift of today.  Be in this moment.  Enjoy the possibilities.

2020 – Haiku April #1

Feeling déjà vu

Staring out the same window

My view stays the same