Category Archives: Food

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Mixing Messages

Have you ever been told something that means one thing?  “I want you in my life.”  And in the very next sentence you are told something that completely cancels it out?  “I can’t be around you.”  The result is…… confusing.  What does this person want? Do they realize they are sending mixed messages?

One unintended consequence of giving someone mixed signals is that the person receiving the signals has to choose what they think you are actually trying to say.  A lot of misinterpretation can happen.  Wouldn’t it be easier to say what you mean?

I have a theory about people who send mixed messages.  I think that they don’t know what they want or what they are feeling.  A person cannot express something simply when they themselves do not know how they feel.

I can understand how mixed messages happen.  Most of us are a mixing bowl of emotions.  Imagine cookie dough before you blend it together.  Every ingredient separate but in the same bowl.  That’s like our feelings and emotions.  We are the bowl and our feelings and emotions are the ingredients.  They are all there together inside our heads.  The emotional mix we get is unique to each of us.

IMG_5719 (1) Cookie ingredients

And like making cookies if you take the time to stir everything together, it will become dough.  When you take that dough and make it into little round balls and cook it, you get a cookie.  Or in this case a fully formed thought.

IMG_5722IMG_5723 (1) dough on cookie sheet

I like it when someone is honest with me and tells me what they mean.  I think that most people would prefer to be treated with honesty and respect.  I also think that most people are like me and would prefer to be given a straight forward answer.

I am not talking about saying cruel or hurtful things.  Mixing signals doesn’t spare anyone’s feelings.  Both of those behaviors cause hurt, confusion and mistrust.

When you give someone the benefit of the doubt and do not try to second guess their feelings by giving them mixed messages, you treat them with respect and provide an opportunity for them to deal with their own feelings.  It is a positive and healthy experience for both parties.

Enough about mixed messages.  I really do like cookies.  And all of this talk using the cookie dough metaphor has made me hungry.  I’m going to mix together a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and bake some cookies!

IMG_5724

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Bonjour – Bakery & Bistro

Last week, I stumbled upon the most delightful place……. Bonjour Bakery & Bistro located at 45 Heritage Way in Kalispell, Montana.  Please click on the following link for site specific  information about this amazing place: Bonjour Bakery & Bistro

Bonjour.interior

The atmosphere is enchanting.  Chandeliers and white twinkle lights.  Jazz music and heavenly aromas.  Silver mirrors and a pale blue ceiling.  All of these touches make those that enter feel like they have stepped into someplace extraordinary.  The truth is that you have entered into a magical place.

Bonjour.orchid

This is a place that recognizes that the little touches mean as much as large gestures.  There are so many exquisite little touches.  Orchids by the cash register and cut flowers on every table.  The collection of demitasse cups and sliver cake molds.  Being cheerfully greeted when you enter.  The artful arrangement of cookies on plates and pastries on trays.

Bonjour.pastries

More than cookies, cakes and pastries, Bonjour Bakery & Bistro serves coffees in unique flavors like lavender and honey cinnamon.  They make soups, sandwiches, bread, quiche, chocolates and, of course, macaroons.

Bonjour.cakes

Above is a picture of a chocolate tower, cake, Madeline and macaroon cookie trees.

Bonjour.cupcakes

They also make cupcakes!  From left to right there is lemon with lemon curd filling, triple berry, coconut, double chocolate with chocolate filling and vanilla.  Having tasted the the lemon cupcake with lemon curd filling, I can honestly say that it was perfect balance of sweetness and tartness.  Very flavorful!

Bonjour.Artists.work

When talking to the people working at Bonjour Bakery & Bistro, one of the ladies said that the owner really wanted this to be a unique experience.  With that in mind she hires artists for decorating the cakes and cookies.  The above photo is one of the artists at work.

So what does a charming bakery have to do with creative living?  Besides the fact that the bakery is an amazing creative experience in and of itself, it has to do with one of the most important things a creative person can do….. self care or being good to yourself.

Most creative people are very good at getting their creative work done, sharing their time, energy and talents helping others and taking care of the demands of daily living.  Where we really trip ourselves up is when we don’t take care of ourselves or have thoughts of scarcity.  The more that you drain yourself to get things done without taking care of yourself, the less you have to give.

Think of your creativity as a well.  You put the bucket in and draw out water for a creative project.  You draw out water to work at your day job.  You draw out water to be a care giver.  You draw out water to volunteer.  The list of things that deplete the water in your well of creativity is endless.  It is your responsibility to do things that fill up your creative well.  Going out to a bakery and ordering a coffee and pastry.  Purchasing tulips out of season.  Eating your favorite childhood cereal for a snack.  Going on a vacation.  Going for a walk.  Or just going outside.  Whatever it is that helps fill your well, do it!

Scarcity thinking is thoughts that we don’t deserve to be treated well.  That we can’t set healthy boundaries because we don’t deserve to take care of ourselves.  Scarcity thinking allows others to take advantage of us when we are needing self care the most.  Scarcity thinking drains the well faster than any other areas of our lives because it goes along with thoughts that we are unworthy, undeserving and inadequate.  When this is happening, no creative work gets done.

I’m going to tell you right now, if you are reading this blog, you care about your creative work and life…. YOU ARE WORTHY!  YOU ARE DESERVING!  YOU ARE ADEQUATE!

Take time to treat yourself.  Take time to take care of yourself.  Take time to visit the Bonjour Bakery & Bistro.  Take time to pamper yourself.  Take care of you.  Your creativity will thank you.