Why So Fearful?

I had read an interesting article many years ago about culture.  This was in college so forgive me for not remembering the author or name of the article.  The premise of it was that the fears of a culture are more telling than the achievements.  Blew my socks off.  The idea is that what scares us tells more about us than all of the accomplishments.  Ponder that for a moment.

Fear is very powerful.  Franklin D. Roosevelt said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.  In the novel “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” the boggert caught by Professor Lupin would turn into a dementor when Harry approached it.  Which meant that Harry was more afraid of fear than Lord Voldemort the most evil wizard of the time.  Harry’s best friend Ron was scared of spiders.  Other people in the novel were afraid of snakes, full moons, etc.  What students of Hogwarts learned by facing the boggert was to face their fears and overcome them.  Well, at least make them less scary.

Thinking about the article for a moment, as a culture or society that expresses so much through the internet and social media, could these outlets become amplifiers for our fears?  Just as the “boggert” of Harry Potter stories reflected fear, could the internet and social media be doing the same thing?  I remember when the internet was beginning.  One of the things that was said in praise of it was that you could find anything on the internet.  And when social media started, it was said that you could find anyone or any group you could ever want to identify with on social media.  It could be said that there is good and bad aspects to both of those things.  And I am not going to go into what is on television and the news.  (War, inflation, disease, hate.)  Scary things happen in the world.

Believe it or not, there are benefits to fear.  What might those be, you ask?  Don’t worry.  I have a list:

1. Fear keeps you safe.  You have an internal danger alarm.  It notifies us of dangerous situations and compels us to take action.  Helps you make a wise decision.  For example, if you are crossing a street and a car comes toward you, your inner alarm urges you to get out of the street and away from the car.
2. Fear helps you lose weight.  Feeling a bit of fear helps burn calories.  While walking through the haunted house a ghost jumps out at you.  Your body releases a surge of adrenaline.  Adrenaline causes your metabolism to go into high gear, causing you to burn more calories.
3. Fear temporarily boosts immunity.  In 2009, Coventry University in the United Kingdom did a study where Scientists tested white blood cells in participants.  They then scared the participants and measured the number of activated white blood cells.  Activated white blood cells are the ones that help fight disease and repair the body.  After being scared, the participants had an increased number of activated white blood cells.
4. Feeling fear can be exciting.  Feeling fear, in the right dose, makes you feel alive.  Stepping out of your comfort zone can be exciting.  Have you ever given a speech or had a role in a play?  Feeling nervous before you start speaking or the play starts leads to the feeling of excitement and being alive after the speech or play has ended.
5. Fear gives you a natural high and sense of empowerment.  Not just adrenaline, the body releases dopamine and the endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin.  Serotonin helps the brain work more efficiently under stressful situations.  Fear is energy.
6. Fear relaxes you.  That’s right.  You read it correctly.  The adrenaline has surged and dopamine has been released into the body increasing blood flow.  After the fear or situation has been faced.  You are now in a safe location and there is no danger.  Your body has had influx of oxygen to the heart and muscles.  When the body comes off of this natural influx, it relaxes completely in a healthy way.
7. Fear helps you stay in the moment.  Focus.  The hormone norepinephrine helps keep you focused instead of panicking in stressful situations.
8. Fear helps you socialize and bonds you to other people.  If our ancient ancestors had not bonded together and helped each other survive, our society would not exist.  It is in our best interests to help one another.  The hormone Oxytocin produces pro-social behavior.  Bonding.  Every see a race, like Ironman, and notice that the contestants competing against each other also help each other by encouraging each other.  The hormone Oxytocin in action.
9. Fear allows you to live life to the fullest.  Fear tends to cause people to make one of two choices.  They can either stop and limit themselves or face their fear head on and expand the possibilities of their lives.  Personally, I am in favor of the second option.
10. Fear gives clarity on what is important.  Fear makes one realize that the only time is now.  How often a terminal diagnosis or finding out about a disease like cancer causes people to live their life fully.  Spending time with those they love and doing things that they have always wanted to do.  The fears they had before become less important than spending the time they have to the fullest.

Maybe fear can help us as a society.  Help us be better people.  Learn from our mistakes.  Make the world a little less scary.  I certainly hope so.

Featured Image is from the above listed company

Starting Something New

In the movie “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” there is a scene where Harry is teaching other witches and wizards about defense against the dark arts.  He tells them that every great witch and wizard started where they were, that they had been students.  Every great witch and wizard had to learn.  It is only through practice and mistakes that the students will become great too.

Think about this concept for a minute.  Do you remember when you were learning to walk?  Toddlers are called toddlers for a reason.  They don’t have the best balance and often toddle over.  They are learning how to keep their balance and put one foot in front of the other.

Think about how you learn new things.  Where do you start?  Some things are easier to learn with a group or in a class.  Sometimes it is easier to learn things on our own through trial and error.  Some skills are best learned from one-on-one instruction by an individual who has mastered a particular art.  Sometimes you can read a book and figure out how to do something.  Another way to learn may be by watching a video.  What I am trying to say is that there are lots of ways to learn things and we all have unique learning styles.

I have been teaching art and creativity classes for almost 20 years now.  Every couple years, I encounter an individual who after their very first experience painting, drawing, etc. give up because whatever they were working on did not turn out like what they had pictured in their mind.

As an artist who has worked on her art for over 20 years, I can tell you that the finished artwork rarely looks like the image you first had in your head.  Usually, the finished piece is way BETTER!  Better than you could have possibly imagined.

That kind of better doesn’t happen with your first canvas, watercolour or drawing.  It takes time and practice.  I have entire sketch books of awful, marginal and just okay.  I didn’t think of them as awful, marginal or just okay at the time I made them.  I thought they were pretty good or at the very least a start of something that could be good.  But when I compare them to what I can do now after years and years of practice, the improvement is quite noticeable.

“Have no fear of perfection – You’ll never reach it.” -Salvador Dali

Go ahead and imagine.  But be prepared that things may not turn out the way you imagined.  There is a distinct possibility that things will be different.  An even better possibility that you will do even better than you imagined.  Have faith and let the creative process work its magic.

Featured image courtesy of pixiby.com.

Joy of Reading

I Opened a Book by Julia Donaldson

“I opened a book and in I strode.

Now nobody can find me.

I’ve left my chair, my house, my road,

My town and my world behind me.

I’m wearing the cloak,

I’ve slipped on the ring,

I’ve swallowed the magic potion.

I’ve fought the dragon, dined with a King

And lived in a bottomless ocean.

I opened a book and made some friends.

I shared their tears and laughter

And followed their road with its bumps and bends

To the happily ever after.

I finished my book and out I came.

The cloak can no longer hide me.

My chair and my house are just the same,

But I have a book inside me.”

The previous poem “I Opened a Book” by Julia Donaldson captures the joys and delights of reading.

A friend and I were talking about reading the book “Alice in Wonderland.”  Although it had been at least fifteen years since I had read it and longer than that for my friend, we both were struck by the story.  Despite the years since we had read the book, it remained memorable to both of us.

Take a moment to think back to a book that you have read that captured your imagination.  How long has it been since you read it?  Was it fiction?  Non-fiction?  Do you read lots of books or once in awhile?

I have many favorite books by many favorite authors.  Some books I have read multiple times.  Some only once.  Many are fiction.  But I enjoy non-fiction books about adventure, travel and certain historic time periods. 

Do you prefer cozy murder mysteries? Maybe you enjoy fantastic adventures with hobbits, dwarves and elves? Reading about robots and all other future possibilities found in Science Fiction. Do romances make your heart go pitter-pat? Or is it horrific monsters, ghosts and terrifying tales? You may prefer Historic novels about people and places from the past. Whatever types of book you like to read, be sure to make time for reading.

There are some serious benefits of reading for pleasure:

• Stress management by increasing enjoyment and relaxation.
• Good for your brain and cognitive development.
• Improves concentration.
• Enhances vocabulary.
• Increases reading and writing skills.
• and, improves memory.

I hope that you have time today to read something you like, at least for a little while. Enjoy a creative escape.

little

“The little things?  The little moments?  They aren’t little.”                            -Jon Kabat-Zinn

It is amazing how something small and simple as a smile has the power to change and make your day better.  That smile with some kind spoken words is even more powerful.

While attending college my sophomore year in Billings, MT, I had been having a really bad day.  My alarm didn’t go off and I woke up late.  I didn’t do as well as I thought on test that I studied really hard for.  It just seemed like everything I did wasn’t working.  While walking to work at McIntosh Art Company when it was on Grand Avenue, I passed two little girls playing.  One of the little girls came running up next to me on the sidewalk and said, “You are really pretty.  I love your red hair.” And she gave me the biggest beautiful smile.  She made my day.  I smiled back and thanked her.  From that moment on, my day went so much better.

You have probably heard the saying “It’s the little things.”  Just like pennies in a bank account, the little things add up.

I am working on an Artist’s Journal project.  One of the things that I am working on is observing little moments of beauty and document them in my journal.  The bright red of blooming poppy.  A spider web caught in dew and early morning sunlight.  Hints of changing colours creeping into the autumn landscape.  Little things.  Small things.  Things that would easily be missed.

I recently watched again the movie “The Crow.”  There is a scene where Eric Draven’s spirit is talking to the police officer about his dead fiancé and how the little things always mattered to her.  He continues saying that he sometimes thought they were trivial.  Nothing is trivial, he goes on to say.

Here is what I want to leave you with.  Little things are important.  Especially when it comes to how we treat one another.  Notice things.  Notice the little things.  Take time to experience and appreciate them.  The little things… they aren’t little.

Mixing Messages

Have you ever been told something that means one thing?  “I want you in my life.”  And in the very next sentence you are told something that completely cancels it out?  “I can’t be around you.”  The result is…… confusing.  What does this person want? Do they realize they are sending mixed messages?

One unintended consequence of giving someone mixed signals is that the person receiving the signals has to choose what they think you are actually trying to say.  A lot of misinterpretation can happen.  Wouldn’t it be easier to say what you mean?

I have a theory about people who send mixed messages.  I think that they don’t know what they want or what they are feeling.  A person cannot express something simply when they themselves do not know how they feel.

I can understand how mixed messages happen.  Most of us are a mixing bowl of emotions.  Imagine cookie dough before you blend it together.  Every ingredient separate but in the same bowl.  That’s like our feelings and emotions.  We are the bowl and our feelings and emotions are the ingredients.  They are all there together inside our heads.  The emotional mix we get is unique to each of us.

And like making cookies if you take the time to stir everything together, it will become dough.  When you take that dough and make it into little round balls and cook it, you get a cookie.  Or in this case a fully formed thought.

I like it when someone is honest with me and tells me what they mean.  I think that most people would prefer to be treated with honesty and respect.  I also think that most people are like me and would prefer to be given a straight forward answer.

I am not talking about saying cruel or hurtful things.  Mixing signals doesn’t spare anyone’s feelings.  Both of those behaviors cause hurt, confusion and mistrust.

When you give someone the benefit of the doubt and do not try to second guess their feelings by giving them mixed messages, you treat them with respect and provide an opportunity for them to deal with their own feelings.  It is a positive and healthy experience for both parties.

Enough about mixed messages.  I really do like cookies.  And all of this talk using the cookie dough metaphor has made me hungry.  I’m going to mix together a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and bake some cookies!

Endings and Beginnings

A friend of mine was recently laid off from the company she had been working for the past couple years. She told me that it isn’t personal. Her company is down-sizing because of inflation and the shift in the economy. That doesn’t mean that this experience wasn’t painful. It is an ending.

Three weeks ago, I started a new job. I am very hopeful that it is the right position and environment for me. It is a beginning.

Things end. Sometimes these endings are choices we have made. Sometimes an ending is something that happens to us. Completely out of our control. Endings can bring out a variety of emotions: pain, joy, anxiety, ease, hope, fear, etc.

Beginnings happen all the time. Much like endings they can come from our own choices or from something that happens to us. The feelings beginnings bring out can be exactly the same emotions that endings evoke.

Endings can be scary. So can beginnings. It all depends on how we choose to experience them.

My challenge to you dear reader is recognize the next time that you are in the process of ending or beginning something. Ground yourself fully in the moment. What emotions do you feel? How are you choosing to experience this moment? What are you learning about yourself in this experience? Please share your thoughts on endings and beginnings by posting a comment.